SCENE 1
Police Officer: Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?
Arthur: Uh, no, officer. Was I speeding?
Police Officer: No, sir. You just drove through a crosswalk
without stopping for the pedestrian trying to cross the road.
Arthur: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't see them.
Police Officer: Well, that's no excuse, sir. You need to be
more careful on the road.
Arthur: I understand, officer. Listen, I don't mean to be
difficult, but do you recognize me? I was the star of a PBS show when I was
younger.
Police Officer: PBS? That liberal propaganda network?
Arthur: Well, I wouldn't say that. But yes, I was the star
of "Arthur".
Police Officer: "Arthur"? That show for kids with
the aardvark? Yeah, sorry, sir. That doesn't get you out of a ticket.
Arthur: (sighs) I understand, officer. I'll take the ticket.
SCENE 2
Crowd Member 1: Hey, what the hell do you think you're
doing? We've been waiting in line for hours, and you just cut in front of us!
Arthur: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend anyone. The
doorman recognized me and let me in.
Crowd Member 2: Who cares if the doorman recognized you?
That doesn't give you the right to cut in line like that.
Crowd Member 3: Yeah, we're all fans of the band too. We've
been looking forward to this concert for weeks.
Arthur: I understand, and I apologize. I wasn't trying to be
rude or disrespectful.
Crowd Member 1: Well, you are being disrespectful. You're
acting like you're better than us just because you were on some kids' show.
Arthur: No, that's not it at all. I'm just here to enjoy the
concert like everyone else.
Crowd Member 2: Well, you can enjoy it from the back of the
line like everyone else too.
Arthur: (sighs) Alright, you're right. I'll go to the back
of the line. I'm sorry for causing any trouble.
Crowd Member 3: (smirks) Yeah, you better be sorry.
Arthur: (walks away to the back of the line) This is a good
reminder that just because I was on a TV show doesn't mean I'm entitled to
anything.
SCENE 3
Police Officer 1: So, Mr. Arthur, let me get this straight.
You're claiming that you didn't steal this home theater system?
Arthur: That's correct. I got it as a gift from my cable
guy, who happens to be the Jim Carrey character from "The Cable Guy".
Police Officer 2: The Jim Carrey character from "The
Cable Guy"? That movie was disturbing.
Arthur: Well, he's not like that in real life. He's actually
a really nice guy, and he set up the home theater for me as a gift.
Police Officer 1: And you didn't think it was odd that he
was giving you such an expensive gift for free?
Arthur: Well, yeah, I did. But he said it was a thank you
for being a loyal customer for so many years.
Police Officer 2: I'm sorry, Mr. Arthur, but we find it hard
to believe that someone would just give you a home theater system worth
thousands of dollars for free.
Arthur: I understand that, but it's the truth. I didn't
steal anything.
Police Officer 1: And we're supposed to believe you, just
because you were on some kids' show?
Arthur: Look, I know you don't like PBS or my show, but that
doesn't mean I'm a criminal.
Police Officer 2: We're not saying you're a criminal, Mr.
Arthur. We're just saying we need to investigate this further.
Arthur: Okay, but can I at least call my lawyer?
Police Officer 1: Sure, go ahead. But just remember, the
truth will come out eventually.
SCENE 4
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, today we're here to
determine the guilt or innocence of the defendant, Arthur. As a prosecutor,
I've had to endure countless hours of his show with my child, and I have to
say, I never imagined I would be standing here today prosecuting him. But here
we are.
"The evidence is clear. The defendant was caught in
possession of a stolen home theater system worth thousands of dollars. He
claims that he received it as a gift from his cable guy, but let's be real,
that's just not plausible. Would you give away something worth that much money
to a stranger, just for being a loyal customer? I don't think so.
"And let's not forget who we're dealing with here. This
is Arthur, the star of a children's show that has been on the air for decades.
We all know his face, his voice, his mannerisms. But what do we really know
about him? What kind of person is he, really? Does he think he's above the law,
just because he was once a beloved character on PBS Kids?
"The defense will try to argue that Arthur is a good
person who would never steal anything. But I urge you to look beyond his
friendly demeanor and colorful clothing. The evidence speaks for itself. Arthur
is guilty of the crime he's been charged with, and I ask that you find him
guilty as charged."
SCENE 5
Prosecutor: Ms. Pappas, you've been studying and watching
Arthur for years, is that correct?
Maria Pappas: Yes, that's correct.
Prosecutor: And what is your professional opinion of
Arthur's character?
Maria Pappas: Well, as a researcher, I have to remain
impartial, but I have to say that some of the things I've observed over the
years are concerning.
Prosecutor: Can you elaborate on that?
Maria Pappas: Well, for one, Arthur has been known to break
the rules and go against authority figures when it suits him. He's also been
known to take shortcuts and look for easy ways out of situations, which could
certainly include stealing.
Prosecutor: So you believe that Arthur is capable of
stealing?
Maria Pappas: Yes, based on my observations, I think it's
possible that Arthur could steal something if he thought he could get away with
it.
Prosecutor: And in your opinion, is it plausible that Arthur
could have received a home theater system worth thousands of dollars as a gift
from his cable guy?
Maria Pappas: Honestly, no. It seems highly unlikely that
someone would just give away something so valuable to a stranger, even if they
were a loyal customer.
Prosecutor: Thank you, Ms. Pappas. No further questions.
SCENE 6
Binky's perspective of the night
"Your Honor, I was at a party at Arthur's home, which
was hosted by the Cable Guy. Arthur was drinking heavily and seemed to be
having a good time. At one point, I noticed him talking to a woman who I didn't
recognize. They seemed to hit it off, and I thought nothing of it at the time.
The next day, I found out that Arthur had unknowingly slept
with a prostitute. He was really upset when he found out and couldn't believe
what had happened. He told me that he thought the woman was just another party
guest.
But let me be clear, Your Honor, this incident had nothing
to do with the home theater setup that Arthur received from the Cable Guy.
Arthur did not steal any of the equipment. He was a victim of circumstance and
made a mistake. But he's a good person who made an honest mistake, and I
believe he deserves to be cleared of these false accusations."
SCENE 7
Prosecution: Mr. Arthur, on the night of the incident in
question, you were pulled over by a police officer for driving through a
crosswalk without stopping for pedestrians, is that correct?
Arthur: Yes, that's correct.
Prosecution: And when the officer pulled you over, you
attempted to bribe him with your fame as a former children's television star,
did you not?
Arthur: No, that's not what happened.
Prosecution: According to the officer's report, you said,
and I quote, "Do you know who I am? I'm Arthur! I used to be on PBS Kids.
I could make you famous if you let me go."
Arthur: I may have mentioned my past work, but I did not try
to bribe the officer.
Prosecution: And isn't it true that the officer did not
recognize you and instead gave you a ticket?
Arthur: Yes, he did give me a ticket.
Prosecution: So your attempt to use your fame was
unsuccessful in this instance, correct?
Arthur: Yes, that's correct.
Prosecution: Mr. Arthur, do you understand that no one is
above the law, no matter how famous or well-known they may be?
Arthur: Yes, I understand that.
SCENE 8
Binky: "Look, Arthur, I didn't mean to bring up all
that stuff in court. I was just trying to help clear your name."
Arthur: "I appreciate that, but you didn't have to
bring up things that are none of their business."
Binky: "I'm sorry, man. I just got carried away. I
really didn't think it would come up."
Arthur: "Well, it did, and now I feel like I'm being
judged for something that has nothing to do with the case."
Binky: "I understand, but hey, while we're on the topic
of personal stuff, how did things go with that lady the Cable Guy brought to
the party?"
Arthur: "Binky, come on. That's not the kind of thing I
want to talk about right now."
Binky: "Okay, okay, I get it. I'm sorry. I just
thought, you know, it might help lighten the mood a bit."
Arthur: "I appreciate the thought, but let's just focus
on getting through this trial first, okay?"
SCENE 8
Arthur: Thank you, Ms. Pappas. Your testimony was very
helpful.
Judge: Mr. Arthur, do you have any witnesses or evidence you
would like to present in your defense?
Arthur: Yes, Your Honor. I would like to call my cable guy,
Jim Carrey, to the stand.
Judge: Very well. Mr. Carrey, please approach the stand and
state your name for the record.
Jim Carrey: My name is Jim Carrey.
Arthur: Mr. Carrey, did you give me the home theater system
in question as a gift?
Jim Carrey: Yes, I did. I wanted to thank Arthur for being a
loyal customer for so many years.
Arthur: And did you take the system from someone else's home
or steal it in any way?
Jim Carrey: No, of course not. I bought it myself and gave
it to Arthur as a gift.
Arthur: Your Honor, I would also like to submit these text
messages between Mr. Carrey and myself as evidence.
Judge: Very well. The court will review the messages. Mr. Carrey,
you may step down.
SCENE 7
Judge: After reviewing the evidence and hearing the
testimony of both the prosecution and defense, the court finds the defendant,
Arthur, not guilty of the charges of theft.
Crowd: (cheering and clapping)
Arthur: (exhales deeply) Thank you, Your Honor. I'm relieved
that this is finally over.
Judge: Mr. Arthur, while you have been cleared of these
charges, I would like to remind you that being a celebrity does not exempt you
from the law. Please be more careful in the future.
Arthur: Yes, Your Honor. I understand.
Outside the courthouse:
Arthur: (approaches Jim Carrey) Thank you so much for coming
to my defense in court. I really appreciate it.
Jim Carrey: No problem, man. You're my favorite aardvark,
you know?
Arthur: (laughs) Thanks, Jim. Listen, can I buy you lunch or
something to thank you?
Jim Carrey: Nah, that's alright. Just keep being a good
customer, and we'll call it even.
Arthur: Alright, you got it. Thanks again, Jim.
Jim Carrey: Take care, Arthur.
Arthur: (smiles and walks away) Time to get back to my
normal life. No more trouble, I hope.
SCENE 8
Arthur arrives at the bar at 7, and Jim is already there,
sipping a drink.
Jim: "Arthur, my boy! Over here!"
Arthur walks over to the table and takes a seat.
Arthur: "So, what did you want to talk about?"
Jim: "Well, first of all, I wanted to congratulate you
on your successful return to the real world. You really showed everyone what
you're made of."
Arthur: "Thanks, Jim. I couldn't have done it without
your help."
Jim: Ah, don't mention it. I just want to see you
succeed. Speaking of which, I've got an idea that I think could really take
your career to the next level."
Arthur: "Oh, really? What's that?"
Jim leans in closer and lowers his voice.
Jim: "What if I told you that I have connections in the
film industry? Connections that could get you a starring role in a major motion
picture?"
Arthur's eyes widen in surprise.
Arthur: "That would be amazing! But how would you
manage to pull that off?"
Jim: "Let's just say that I have some powerful friends
who owe me a few favors. All I need you to do is agree to be in the movie, and
I'll take care of the rest."
Arthur hesitates for a moment, but the allure of fame and
fortune is too great to resist.
Arthur: "Okay, Jim. I'm in."
Jim smiles smugly to himself as he takes another sip of his
drink. He knows that Arthur has just sealed his fate, and that he will never be
able to return to his normal life.
SCENE 8
Arthur is sitting at a fancy restaurant with Binky Barnes,
who he hasn't seen in a while. They're catching up on old times, and Binky is
surprised at how different Arthur has become.
Binky: "Man, Arthur, you've really changed. I remember
when we were younger, you were always so down-to-earth and kind. What
happened?"
Arthur: "What do you mean? I'm still the same
Arthur."
Binky: "No, you're not. You're always talking about
your next big project or how much money you're making. You never ask about how
I'm doing or what's going on in my life."
Arthur: "Come on, Binky. You know how important my work
is to me. I can't waste my time on small talk."
Binky: "Small talk? Is that what our friendship has
become to you? Just small talk?"
Arthur: "No, Binky, it's not like that. I'm just busy,
that's all."
Binky: "Busy with what? You've got everything you ever
wanted, and yet you're still not satisfied."
Arthur: "What are you talking about?"
Binky: "I'm talking about the fact that you're not
happy, Arthur. You're always striving for more, but you never stop to
appreciate what you have."
Arthur: "I appreciate everything I have, Binky. But I'm
not going to settle for mediocrity."
Binky: "Mediocrity? Is that what you think of our
friendship? That it's mediocre?"
Arthur: "No, of course not. But you have to understand
that I have bigger things to worry about now."
Binky: "Bigger things? Like what?"
Arthur: "Like my career, Binky. I have to focus on that
if I want to keep succeeding."
Binky: "I get it, Arthur. But don't forget about the
people who were there for you before you became famous."
Arthur: "I won't, Binky. I promise."
Scene 2:
Arthur is on the phone with Binky, who's trying to make
plans to hang out. Arthur is brushing him off.
Binky: "Hey, Arthur. It's been a while since we hung
out. I was thinking we could grab lunch this weekend?"
Arthur: "I don't know, Binky. I'm really busy with
work."
Binky: "Come on, man. You're always busy with work.
Can't you take a break for one afternoon?"
Arthur: "I wish I could, Binky, but I have a big
project I'm working on. Maybe next time."
Binky: "Next time? You always say that, Arthur. When
was the last time we hung out?"
Arthur: "I don't know, Binky. I'm sorry. I just don't
have time right now."
Binky: "You don't have time for your friends anymore,
Arthur. That's what it seems like to me."
Arthur: "That's not true, Binky. I'm just really
focused on my career right now. I'll make it up to you, I promise."
Binky: "You always say that, Arthur. But I'm starting
to wonder if you even care about our friendship anymore."
Arthur: "Binky, of course I care. You're my
SCENE 8
One day, Arthur and Binky were hanging out at the Sugar
Bowl, sipping on milkshakes and chatting about old times.
"You know, Binky, I was thinking," Arthur said,
"Maybe I should start my own production company. Jim Carey thinks it's a
great idea, and I have the talent and experience to make it happen."
Binky raised an eyebrow. "That sounds ambitious,
Arthur. But are you sure you're ready for that kind of responsibility? I mean,
you've been working with Jim Carey for a while now, but that doesn't mean
you're ready to strike out on your own."
Arthur scoffed. "What are you talking about, Binky?
I've learned more in the past five years than I ever did on that stupid PBS
show. I'm ready to take the next step in my career, and if you can't see that,
then maybe we're not as good of friends as I thought."
Binky was taken aback by Arthur's sudden change in tone.
"Whoa, Arthur, I'm just trying to look out for you. I don't want to see
you make a mistake and ruin your career before it even gets started."
Arthur rolled his eyes. "I don't need you to look out
for me, Binky. I'm perfectly capable of making my own decisions. Maybe I don't
need friends who can't support me."
With that, Arthur got up from the booth and stormed out of
the Sugar Bowl, leaving Binky sitting there, feeling hurt and confused.
SCENE 8
Arthur sat across from Jon Favreau at a trendy cafe in Los
Angeles. They were discussing a new project they were working on together.
Arthur was excited to be working with someone as renowned as Favreau.
As they talked, Arthur noticed Binky walking by outside. He
didn't want to acknowledge him, but he couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt.
Binky had been his best friend since childhood, but Arthur's ego had been
getting in the way lately.
Arthur pretended not to notice as Binky walked by the
window, hoping that he wouldn't come in and interrupt their meeting. He leaned
in and spoke in a hushed tone to Jon, hoping to distract him from Binky's
presence.
But just as he was getting into the conversation, Binky
walked in, looking surprised to see Arthur there.
"Hey, guys!" Binky said cheerfully, approaching
the table. "What are you up to?"
Arthur looked up, feigning surprise. "Binky, hey! I
didn't expect to see you here."
Binky looked at him skeptically, sensing something was off.
"Is everything okay, Arthur?"
Arthur tried to play it off, but he knew that he had hurt
Binky's feelings by ignoring him. He felt a twinge of regret and wished that he
could go back to the way things used to be between them.
"Yeah, everything's fine," Arthur said, trying to
sound convincing. "Jon and I were just discussing our new project."
Binky nodded, still looking a bit hurt. "Okay, well,
I'll let you guys get back to it then. Catch you later."
As Binky walked away, Arthur felt a pang of guilt. He knew
that he had been acting like a jerk lately, and he didn't want to lose Binky's
friendship. But at the same time, he felt like he had to keep up his persona in
front of Jon Favreau. It was a tricky balancing act, and he wasn't sure how
much longer he could keep it up.
SCENE 9
As Arthur walked arm in arm with the two aspiring actresses,
he spotted Binky walking down the street towards them. Binky saw Arthur and
waved, but Arthur pretended not to notice, putting on a fake smile and
continuing his conversation with the actresses.
After they passed by, Arthur quickly took out his phone to
check if Binky had called him. Sure enough, there were several missed calls and
voicemail messages from his old friend. Arthur sighed and quickly forwarded the
calls to voicemail, not wanting to be interrupted during his date.
Later that night, Arthur found himself in bed with the two
actresses, their low self-esteem making them eager to please him. But as Arthur
lay there, his mind began to wander back to the good old days when he and Binky
would hang out and have fun together.
He thought about the times they would go fishing at the lake
or play video games in his basement. He missed the days when he could just be
himself around Binky and his little sister DW, before he got caught up in the
glitz and glamour of Hollywood.
As he lay there, Arthur realized how much he had changed
since those days. He had become arrogant and selfish, only concerned with his
own success and fame. He had pushed away the people who had truly cared about
him, like Binky and his family.
But as he listened to the soft breathing of the actresses
next to him, Arthur knew that he couldn't go back to his old life. He was too
far gone, too consumed by his own desires and ambitions. And so, he closed his
eyes and tried to push the memories of his past away, focusing instead on the
bright future that lay ahead.
SCENE 9
Arthur took a deep breath of the fresh, mountain air as he
stepped out onto the balcony. He felt invigorated after a long day of skiing,
and the crisp cold air felt refreshing against his skin. As he looked out over
the breathtaking view of the snow-capped mountains in the distance, he couldn't
help but feel a pang of nostalgia.
He thought back to his childhood days, when he used to ski
with his family in the local mountains. He remembered how excited he used to
get when they would take the ski lift to the top of the mountain and carve
their way down the slopes.
As he stood there lost in thought, he absentmindedly reached
into his back pocket and pulled out the switchblade he had carried with him
since he was a kid. He flipped it open and started carving the initials
"A.R + D.W." into the wooden railing of the balcony.
As he carved, he couldn't help but think of all the good
times he had shared with his best friends, Arthur and DW. He felt a twinge of
guilt as he realized how much he had drifted away from them in recent years. He
wondered what they were doing now, and whether they were still close like they
used to be.
He took a deep breath and closed his switchblade, sliding it
back into his pocket. As he turned to head back into the suite, he caught a
glimpse of the two actresses passed out on the bed. He shook his head and
sighed, feeling a bit empty inside.
Despite all the glamour and excitement of his Hollywood
lifestyle, he couldn't help but feel that something was missing. He missed the
simple pleasures of his childhood, and the close bonds he used to share with
his friends and family.
